Where do I start?...
I was 14 when I got sick. I was just starting High School, and like most freshmen, was vastly eager about what life had in store for me. I made it through 3 days of High School and then I was too sick to go. I progressively got worse for months. I saw doctors and had countless blood tests done weekly. I eventually started making almost monthly trips up to the bay area to see varying types of specialists at a large and very well respected hospital (that will remain unnamed.) Every doctor I saw over the course of that first year wracked their brain trying to figure out what was wrong with me. I saw some of the best and brightest of this hospital in the bay area, and no one figured out what I had for a year. In that year I went undiagnosed for a year I continued to get worse.
To list some of my symptoms: I had debilitating migraines, light and sound sensitivity, I stopped sleeping (I slept every other day when I was at my worst. Or I was sleeping all day and was awake all night. I was a hardcore insomniac.), I also had tons of nightmares when/if I did sleep, I was horribly nauseous, I had chest and heart pain and heart palpitations, I had arthritis like body pain in every inch of my body, I had no energy (to the point that I lived on the couch and at one point I was so weak I could barley walk across the house), I had horrible brain fog and short term memory. Later on I got a tremor and muscle twitching that varied day to day, I got a "rash" that left me with purple stretch mark looking scars all over my mid back, and my legs (and under my toenails) would turn a purpley-blue color...And I'm sure I'm forgetting plenty!
For comparison to know how sick I got (if you can't tell by all of that...): The summer before I got sick I was in the best shape of my life. I did water polo training over summer so I could join the team come water polo season. I was swimming for a few hours a day, I was doing 20 pushups and many other types of arm workouts, I was doing almost 400 sit ups every practice (and half of those sit ups were with an 8 lb. weight ball), I did tons of laps and could easily tread water for hours. Not only physically was I at my best, but I was also academically doing amazingly. I had straight A's all through school and by High School I was set up to do all AP all 4 years, and then I planned on leaving for a university as soon as I could...But everything changed when I got sick.
After a year of being undiagnosed and slowly getting worse and worse, I finally got tested for the right thing and got a diagnosis. I had Lyme Disease....I *have* Lyme Disease.
I'm a planner. My whole life I never knew exactly what I wanted to be "when I grew up", but I always had a plan of getting through school and going away for college and traveling. But when I got sick it obliterated everything I had worked so hard for for so long to have my future planned out. Getting sick forced me to stay home and be isolated and due to that I lost all of my friends. I soon only had my family and doctors as my friends. My illness destroyed me. It chipped away at everything until I had nothing except my family. It almost killed me physicality and the toll it took on me emotionally almost killed me too. I was so deeply consumed by my illness and depression that I really only did live for my family...for a long time.
Lyme Disease changed my life completely, in every way. It changed my day-to-day life drastically, it forced me to change my mindset and outlook on life, it changed what I eat, and what I do, and who the people are in my life, and my schooling and all the plans I had for the future. Getting Lyme totally changed me and my life, for better or for worse.
I was 14 when I got sick.
I was 15 when I was diagnosed with Lyme Disease.
I was 16 when I was dead inside and depression consumed me.
I was 17 when I finally started to find myself again.
I am 18 now.
I still have Lyme Disease. I still have ups and downs with both my health and emotions, but it's nothing compared to how it used to roller coaster. I graduated High School early just a a few weeks ago (in March), after months of working my butt off. I have friends again, not many but they're enough. I have my two internet friends (who I met when I was 16) to thank for why I made it through my worst depressions. They're still my best friends. I don't know where I'd be without them. I have a boyfriend who is as good as they come.
Most importantly though, I still have my family. They're the one and only constant that has never left my side through anything. We were always a close knit family but they truly became my best friends when I lost everything. They became my everything. They made me laugh and would make me forget all my pain and troubles even on my worst days, and all of our laughter is what got me through it all. I can't thank them enough for everything they've done for me... I truly would not be alive today to tell my story had I not had my family. Not just because they never gave up until we got answers and got results from treatment, but because their love was the only thing Lyme didn't and can never take away from me. It took everything away from me, but my families love just grew and grew and cradled me until I finally started to get strong again and finally re-found love for myself.
I am 18 now.
I still have Lyme Disease. I still have ups and downs. I never got my life back, but I have a new life. I'm truly happy for the first time in YEARS. I have new friends. I have a stronger family than ever. I've lived through almost dying and hitting rock bottom and through countless depressions. I'm stronger than ever. I love who I am. I'm proud of myself. I'm a survivor, and I'm going to keep being a survivor.
I have a story to tell...
I am 18 now, and I decided it's time to tell my story.
