It's World Mental Health Day and ironically I've had a 180 in the last 24 hours, much like the weather actually.
Yesterday was sunny, beautiful, perfect weather. My boyfriend and I went on a movie date for the first time in a long time to celebrate our 3 year anniversary a few days early. I was so happy all day, giddy even, and went to bed feeling so happy and grateful for life.
Today, however, some dark, heavy clouds rolled in over night, and an internal storm began.
I slept SO BAD last night, the worst I've slept in years. I was up many hours later than usual, I slept for 2 hours, was awake for 2 hours, slept for 2 hours and had terrible nightmares back to back, was awake for 2 hours, then slept decently for 3 hours. Every awake spell my mind was a reel of negativity, and every time I was asleep I was in stressful dreams or nightmares.
My mind is a mess, I have emotional chest pain, and my body is not happy about the restless sleep.
Thankfully, I haven't felt this way in a very long time. But it's crazy to think that my life was this way fro so many years. It makes me feel so much more thankful for how I've come and that I have a huge majority of good days now.
I've struggles with mental health off and on for many years now and hard work and determination is how I've gotten to where I am now, which is the happiest and most myself I've ever felt.
You can't give up when you have a bad day. You have to find heathy outlets to pour your emotions into whether it's good emotions or bad. You have to find ways to nurture your mind, body, and soul everyday.
I'm also very thankful that over the years I've learned how to cope really well with bad days like this.
So, to nurture my soul today I have old classic jazz playing (my favorite genre), and I'm spending some time organizing my closet and tidying my room because a clean room for me means a clean mind and soul. Puppy and kitty cuddles always really help too.😊💕
While looking out at the dark, stormy clouds "Singing In The Rain" came on and made me smile. When it gets stormy or rainy it doesn't have to stop you. You can always make the most of any kind of weather.
I could've stayed in bed and wallowed all day, I've done that many times in the past and that's okay! Sometimes that is the best you can do! But a bad day is a bad DAY, not a bad life. Storms never last forever. The clouds will break and the sun will shine again. ☀️
Today I'm choosing to "sing and dance in the rain" and take care of my soul.
I truly believe that the people who thrive the most in life are the ones who learn to dance amidst the storms too.
And anyone who really knows me, knows that I've always been one who literally will go outside and sing and dance in the rain.
I can think of so many occasions growing up back in school where it would be sprinkling, raining, or even pouring, and no matter how light or heavy the rain, everyone would run to get out of it as quickly as possible. But not me. I would walk, I would skip, I would twirl, I would splash in the puddles, I would dance, I would sing, I would throw my head back and smile up at the sky, and every once in a while someone would come join me and would happily get soaked in the storm with me.
Past and present, literally and figuratively, thank you to those of you in my life who have danced in the rain with me. 💙🌧👯♀️
You are everything.
And hey! For anyone who's never danced in the rain, I highly recommend it! You'll be amazed by how much fun you can have in a storm. 😉
#worldmentalhealthday
(...and right on queue, as I'm posting this blog, the sun came through the clouds for sunset, lit up the sky beautifully, and the sunlight also hit the crystal in my window above me and shined rainbow speckles ALL around my room. ⛅️🌈💖)
(Scorll side to side to read on mobile. This post uploaded very oddly and I don't know why. I tried to fix it but it's just being stubborn. Sorry that it uploaded with many fonts and that you have to scroll weirdly to read it. :/ )
