How I Became a Motivational Speaker

Last week, I got a phone call out of the blue from my old principal. He called, saying that the superintendent of our school district specifically asked for me, because he wanted me to come speak at the teacher assembly. He thought my graduation speech was by far the best of all the ones he saw this last June, and he in-fact he said that my speech was his "favorite speech ever!" He thought I would/they wanted me to "Inspire them and remind them what they do what they do." So, no pressure haha.  It's an assembly for all the public schools in our town, and it had about 600 people at it. I accepted the day after he called me and he told me I could say whatever I felt was fitting for the occasion. Just being told that, and knowing that they trusted me that much, was a great feeling. So, I pulled a speech together in 2 days.  Tuesday morning (8-16-16), I woke up at 6:30am (despite that normally I'm just falling asleep at that time), I got to the school at 7:45am like how I was asked to, I was introduced to many important officials in the school district, and then next thing I knew it was starting. I was the closing speaker. The motivational speaker who was there, went before me, and they wanted ME to close the assembly. Thats crazy!! My principal introduced me to the crowd while looking and sounding proud, then I sucked up my nerves, put on a big smile and faked confidence while I gave my speech. 10 minutes later, I finished my speech and with my final words everyone laughed and then stood up and gave me a standing ovation.  I was in shock, my hands were shaking from my nerves and the adrenalin rushing through me. While I was trying to go back to my seat, the superintendent came up to me and hugged me with tears still in his eyes. He told me to stay up there with him, and while we waited for the applause to die down he thanked me multiple times for being there. He told me that's the second time I've made him cry, and he said many other kinds things. Once everyone sat, he thanked me on the mic and said "Thank you for being here and sharing your story with us all. You're effecting lives and making such a big difference by sharing what you've been through." He then thanked the teachers for coming, and I was finally able to go shy away to my seat. My principal (whom I was sitting next to) leaned over and said, "It was perfect." The woman on my other side told me I did so great, then a woman behind me leaned forward, shook my hand and thanked me. Leaving took a solid 30 minutes or so, just because so many people kept stopping me and coming up to me to shake my hand and thank me. The superintendent told me he wanted a picture with me, so then I took many pictures with people. My principal gave me a hug and thanked me for coming. My old teachers came up and congratulated me and told me they were so proud of me. Then just the amount of strangers that complimented me was crazy. I lost count of the amount of times I was told I should be a motivational speaker. Which speaking of motivational speakers, we talked the the man who went before me and he said he actually based his speech on what he heard I would be talking about! The motivational speaker based his speech off of my speech! What's that about?! (He told a story of his troubled and utterly tragic past, and how important of a role his teachers and coaches played in his life. Hearing that he based his topic off of mine is even more cool, because I think he decided to share that very personal story with everyone because he heard I was telling my vulnerable story too. He said he usually doesn't talk about his past, but knowing he was able to talk about it because I was being vulnerable is kind of amazing.)  Little do all of them know being awake that early is not something I ever do. They have no idea that I've been struggling with motivation so it was very ironic that I was asked to come be a motivational speaker. They don't know that the only other speech I've ever given was my Valedictorian speech, I've never taken a speech class, and in fact, I've had terrible stage fright my whole life too! They have no idea how far out of my comfort zone I was doing that!! It was such an amazing experience. I feel so honored to have been asked to do that, and I feel so much more motivated now. They have no idea how much I was needing to know that I am effecting people. I was feeling so useless and irrelevant, but seeing that I effect so many people when I'm just myself means a lot. I've always been the shy kid, I've never been one to speak in front of a lot of people, I've always been introverted and the last 4 years I've basically been a hermit. People generally haven't really cared about me since I got sick, people don't understand what I go through, I don't have many friends, I don't leave the house often, I struggle quite a bit with depression, and now all of sudden I get asked to d something like that... I was requested to be a speaker by many people, meaning that many adults were excited I was there to speak! I brought people to tears, again. I got a standing ovation, again. I got hugs and handshakes and countless kind words from total strangers. The coolest thing is I was just being myself, and thats all they told me they wanted me to do. I actually could cry about how happy I am that I can make such a big difference and effect people in a really positive way by just being me. It's the best and most rewarding feeling. I'm just amazed and still in shock. My teachers continue to make me believe in myself more and more.... (Some pictures of the event)  (When he was thanking me in front of the crowd) (The superintendent, me, and my principal. Coincidentally all coordinated in blue haha. 👕👔👖💙) I finally uploaded the video to my speech (10 months later.) You can watch that here. I just want to start out by saying thank you for this opportunity. I’m so honored to be here and be able to talk to so many educators of this community. It means a lot to me to know that my Valedictorian speech had such a lasting impression on people too. I wrote it purposely to be vulnerable and true to who I am. It’s my story, so it means even more to know that people got it and really liked what I had to say. With that being said, I’ll read you all a portion of my graduation speech… "Just a year ago I wrote an essay about my deep love and appreciation, for bacon. That's not a lie. That's me. That’s who I am.  I'm an insomniac, a blogger, a YouTuber, a writer, a book worm, a music lover, a musician, and many other things. I love super-heroes and sarcasm and singing loudly in the car. I talk to my animals like they're people and I answer for them too, because I'm totally not crazy at all. My nickname is Mayonnaise. Yes, you heard that right. Mayonnaise, like the condiment. They call me Mayo for short, but that's it’s whole own story.  My point is, I'm a total and complete weirdo! That's who your Valedictorian is; a person who's nickname is Mayonnaise, who writes essays about bacon.  The future of America everyone. 🙌 Feel proud.  Aside from all the silly things I listed that I identify myself with, I didn't list one really big thing that takes up a huge portion of my life, and I didn't list it because I don't define myself by it. …… I’m sick.  I've actually been very sick the last 4 years of my life. I started my freshmen year just as normally and optimistically as every other kid at Paso High, but not even halfway into the first week of school, I got really sick. I spent the rest of the year in and out of hospitals, seeing countless doctors and being tested for anything and everything they thought I might have.  My friends turned into strangers and my doctors became my friends. At a time in my life when my biggest worries should have been about school and friends, and boys and silly things like what to wear; I was waiting for test results to find out if I had cancer or a tumor or something that might kill me.  In the blink of an eye I went from all honors classes and previously having straight A’s, to not even being able to do simple addition, reading or writing. I couldn't even walk 10 feet without starting to black out either, and the summer before I got sick I was in water polo, swimming for hours at a time, and doing over 300 sit ups per practice.  My life and who I was was ripped away from me and I desperately clung to anything I could that was still me. ……. 4 years later, I'm still sick. I’m immensely better, but I’m still sick. I just don't look it anymore. I'll smile and you'll see my normal looking exterior and you'll quickly notice my weird, silly, fun personality and you'd never know.... I still have insomnia and bad days. I was in the ER recently too because it was a really bad day. Despite everything that's been thrown my way over the past 4 years, here I am, somehow still in the place I always dreamed I'd be. It feels right, and yet totally bizarre. After years of hell, I'm finally ending this chapter of my life, and it's still the ending I'd always wanted. It ends with me graduating as valedictorian, giving a speech about life…and bacon. I have Lyme Disease. But that's not something I identify myself with. 4 years later, it still takes up and controls the majority of my life and it's in every cell of my body, but I am not my illness.  It just took me a while to learn that I get to decide what things I let define me. We all get to make the choice for ourselves. We get to choose how we define ourselves.  I will not be defined by my illness." Just like in my graduation speech, I want to take just a minute of my time here and use this amazing platform to spread some much needed awareness for Lyme Disease. For anyone who doesn't now what it is, all it takes is just one tiny tick bite and your life can be drastically changed. I really encourage everyone to just Google Lyme Disease and learn a little bit about it. I didn't even know what it was before I got it. Researching it and being aware of what it is can save your life.  At this point in my speech I said my thank you’s, I made some jokes, and I addressed my class. But since I have this time here today, I specifically want to talk to you, the teachers. I went to 4 different High Schools in the last for 4 years due to my complicated health issues, and I have nothing but great things to say about all the people who helped with my schooling.  I had a counselor at Paso High who went way out of his way to be kind and help me, I had a home-hospital teacher who would come to my house and would bring me my work, I had a teacher at Independence who would stay after school with me and tutored me to help me catch up, my teacher at Liberty helped me create an independent school schedule that helped me be able to graduate on time,…and that’s just listing a few!  I really just want to thank the School District, for having a school system that allows the teachers to be so compassionate. The amount of kindnesses that was shown to me made all the difference in my life, and was the reason I was still able to succeed academically.  I’ve had so many teachers impact me and my life, and I really wish I had the time to talk about all of them. But I’m just going to tell a short story about one instead… My 8th grade teacher is one of the teachers I’ll never forget. She was the first person to tell me I was a leader, and actually made me believe it. She made me see myself differently, and it forever changed my life…After graduation, I messaged her and finally, after many years, thanked her for everything she’s done for me, and I think you guys will really connect with what she said to me. She said, “Being a teacher, praying you touch a life is what you hope for. It’s the “beyond academics” that matter most.” Obviously, academics is a very important part in a teachers career, but I agree with my teacher. Its the things beyond academics that matter the most. The teachers that showed me extra kindness and compassion, the ones that would just sit and talk with me about life and would tell me funny stories and make me laugh. Those are the teachers that made the biggest difference in my life. Now-days bullying, depression, self harm, eating disorders, and other mental illnesses, are more of an issue than ever. Those things are all thrown into a category that my illness also falls into - “Invisible Illnesses.” Invisible illnesses are the most misunderstood kind of illnesses, because its hard for people to understand how something could be wrong with a person that looks “normal.” Just because someone looks or acts normal, doesn’t mean something serious isn’t going on below the surface.  It’s really hard to be a teenager now days, to say the least, and if you’re struggling from an invisible illness its even harder. All kids, and teenagers especially, want to see our potential. We just struggle to see our potential on our own. We need someone to make a difference. Teacher’s arguably play the most pivotal role in kids, and teens lives. Teachers make such a big difference! You all get the opportunity every year to effect kids and push them towards their potential.  Basically, I just want to tell you to keep doing what you do. Don’t be discouraged by our sass and sarcasm. Don’t give up on us, especially when we start to give up on ourselves. Keep making a difference! Just be patient, don’t give up, and don’t doubt how important of a role you play in your students lives. As a student who’s had a lot of teachers effect me as a person, thats what I wanted to say to the teachers of this community. On behalf of all kids, teenagers, and students out there, thank you so much for everything you do, and keep pushing us to be the best we can be both academically and in life too. As a finishing thought, I’ll leave you with the same thing I ended my Valedictorian speech with. It’s something that any age can appreciate and I think it’s meaningfulness is part of why people remembered my speech….  If you want some really good bacon go out and get the thick sliced kind. Pan fry it like you normally would, then put it on a sheet, brush it with maple syrup and oven bake it. Delicious. You’ll thank me later.

"I'm falling to pieces"

I haven't played any music or done any covers for about 2 months, and that's mostly because my brother's living back up in his room. I usually do covers late at night and I blast music and sing and can be loud because no one's on my side of the house, but with him living there I've had to be super quiet late at night. He's gone for a week, and the first night he was gone I blasted music, sang and did a cover. Gotta make up for lost time haha.
I did a really long intro to this, just explaining what I'm singing this about. I really wanted to talk about it, and I felt like it would be cool to actually talk about it and not just write about it for once. So, I pretty much say it all in the intro.
I've felt really connected to this song lately. It's felt really relevant, and the fact that it used to be one of my favorite songs before I got sick just makes it mean that much more to me. It's really bittersweet for it to mean something so different and sad to me now, but it's kind of beautiful in a way.

I feel the lyrics to this song so much...I hope that shows through, and I hope what I'm singing it about shows through too.

(these are some of the most relevant lines to me)

"I'm still alive but I'm barely breathing"

"Just prayed to a god that I don't believe in"

"While I'm wide awake she's no trouble sleeping"

"They say bad things happen for a reason, but no wise words gonna stop the bleeding"

"...I'm still grieving"

"When a heartbreaks no it don't break even"

"What am I supposed to do when the best part of me was always you?"

"I'm falling to pieces"