It's been months since I've written on here and updated. Frankly, that's because I just haven't known where to start. I've had so many ups and downs.
I'll start by saying, I'm still in our guest room and not back in my own bedroom... yet. It's been 5 months since I started staying in here. It's been since New Years basically. Initially, I moved in here because a mouse died in the wall of my bedroom and I couldn't take the smell. It took a good month for that to go away, and then another one died and that took a month too! So! There was that haha. Also, this room was already puppy proofed and this bed is right on the floor. So it was already good and safe for my puppy, and my room needs a lot of work for it to be puppy ready and I just didn't have the energy. So.... 5 months later, here I still am.
I am wanting and planning to move back into my room though. I've started to clean little by little. I'm very excited to get back into my own space and be in a room that fully feels like me. My little, pink, girly room, with my excessive amount of fluffy pillows, stuffed animals, and all of my pretty little twinkle lights. It'll be so nice and good for me. I can't wait. We'll be together soon my beloved bed!😻😭🙌❤️
Here in this room, since I last wrote, I took down the clock that was staring me down, taunting me every night. (If you don't understand that reference just read my last post and you'll understand.) I first came to peace with it and got rid of its negative energy, and then took it down and put it away into the back of the closet in this room. In it's place, I put up a dream catcher than my mom’s amazing cousin MADE for me. It's something new, for my fresh start, filled with only positivity, and made with pure love. It feels immensely better than the clock that didn't work, to say the least. It's hung across the room staring down over my bed, which isn't traditional for dream catchers, but for here, in this room, it felt right. It felt needed. I needed something better to look over me.
I can't wait to move back to my room though and hang it above by bed where it's meant to go. I can't wait. I can already feel how right it'll feel.
It's been one of my longest, and hardest winters I’ve ever had. I can't wait to leave it all behind in this room and start spring (and summer) freshly and brightly in my own room, all clean. It’s literally a clean slate! It's exactly what I need.
Oddly, I've also come to realize that maybe I was meant to be in this room over winter. Maybe it was exactly for this reason, that I needed to leave all of my sadness and negativity of winter behind in a different room. That way when I would move back into my own space, 1, it would be clear of all the old, bad energy, and 2, I would be ready to reset and truly start fresh.
I’ve been forced to face a lot of my old demons too that I left behind in this room years ago. I mean, quite literally I had to face my old demons. I’ll talk about that more in separate posts though I guess haha. But! In short… All of the old energy I had in this room years ago, stayed exactly where I left it. So…I’ve had to deal with that. I had to work really hard to get the negative energy out of this room, and I finally did get it to clear out!
I’ve finally made my peace with this room. It just feels like a big empty room to me now, no more bad energy/memories weighing it (or me) down anymore.
I’m just really happy to move back to my room now and to leave this room behind better than when I came into it.
I'm ready! I'm ready to reset and have a fresh start with a new attitude. I'm ready to open all the dusty windows and let the light in. I'm ready. Bring on the light!
Spring time represents rebirth, renewal, growth, love, and HOPE.
It’s been a beautiful spring, both literally and metaphorically.
I’ll be writing again soon. There’s still so much I want to talk about.
Until next time...
❤️🌸🌱☀️
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